How to live an EPIC life!

ep·ic
/ˈepik/

informal

particularly impressive or remarkable

We talk so much about establishing routines and making sure that you stay consistent which are definitely the hallmarks to getting into the best shape of your life.

But, is it possible that routines could actually be KEEPING you from living the best, most fulfilled and most adventurous life you can?

A lot of us stray away from adventurous experiences and that's understandable.  Adventures inherently are unpredictable.  They also tend to make anyone who is conservative, a Type A personality or a control freak really uncomfortable.  What will it take away from?  What won't get done?  What about my to-do list?

BUT, think about this.  When you ask most people about their day, week, month or even the most memorable experience they've ever had what do they say?

Do they say, "The moment I marked everything off of my agenda and to-do list for the day".

OF COURSE NOT!

We tend to remember and romanticize the big moments or ADVENTURES in our lives and that's GREAT!  The good, the bad, the unexpected are what living life is all about.  One of the biggest reasons people slow down and deteriorate in health after they retire is that they no longer force themselves into situations with adventure!  They are just going thru the routine, marking everything off of their agenda from day to day.  Their mind slows down, their body slows down and eventually things just stop.

So don't just live life!  Live an EPIC life!

See if the things you'd say are your most memorable moments can be described as E.P.I.C.:


E: Experience

Without experience not only are we naive to what happens in the world outside of our 3 foot bubble but we don't grow.  The secret here is to do NEW THINGS!  The things we do over and over, day after day often aren't even things that propel us forward.  Those are the things that were new, the things that challenged what we thought we knew, the things that gave us insight that we never had before.  It happens all the time, I hear people say, "Well I've never experienced that." as if it can't be true because it didn't pop up in their day-to-day life.  Well did you create an opportunity to experience it?  Or did you just look for it to surprise you somewhere in your agenda?

There are over 6 billion people on this earth living in thousands of cultures in hundreds of countries with dozens of climates.  If you base everything you know off of what you see, hear, touch, taste and smell in your daily agenda and to-do list how can you possibly grow to your true potential?  How do you gain wisdom?  How do you learn how to interact with others who have a different background and perspective than you?  How do you ever know if what you are doing now is the thing with which you can impact the world most?

One of the silliest things I've ever heard someone say is that they didn't think they had any reason to leave their city because they've lived there all their life and it's "not that bad".

NOT THAT BAD?  That's your litmus test for life?


P: People

It took me many years to realize this important fact.  NOT everybody is meant to be friends!  Now I don't mean that in a negative way WHATSOEVER, hear me out.  If you have friendships or relationships with people that are always competing with you, disagreeing with you, talking down to you, giving you the cold shoulder when you have accomplishments or are unsupportive of you during your times of need are you choosing wisely from the 6 billion people on this planet to have friendships/relationships with?  Are THEY choosing wisely?

None of us have time in our short lives to interact with people who make us feel bad about ourselves.  There's really very little time for misunderstandings as well.  If someone is constantly misunderstanding you there's perhaps a reason.  Maybe they don't WANT to understand you.  Do the people in your life continually talk to you about same things?  Do they continually exhibit the same behaviors over and over in your interactions?  If so, what are you really contributing to each other?

The people in your life should lift you up, encourage you to do your best and be there when you fall.  If you can't find those things in the people you interact with, merrily send them on their way and seek out people who respect and love you for who you are.

People should grow wiser, stronger and healthier together just as they do independently.  The people in your life should be just as memorable as your experiences.  Stop wasting your time with each other if they are not!


I: Immersive

When is the last time you gave your FULL attention to an experience?  Did you notice anything unique?

Let's say you go on a hike in the woods.  Typically you take your phone in case someone needs you but one day you forget it or you leave it in the car.  How much more likely are you to notice more during that experience?  You can concentrate on the details of your surroundings.  The leaves have a brighter color, the air smells different, perhaps you meet people on the trail and exchange words.  Think of the innumerable variables that could come from being totally immersed in your surroundings versus rationing out your attention to other things.

Now here's the really important point.  What do those other things have to do with the current moment you're in?  Does answering your phone add to your experience of going for a hike?  Does looking at Instagram while you walk?  In the moment you're in, those things DON'T MATTER!

If you met with a friend for coffee and the entire time they were splitting their attention between you and a dozen other things would you feel that you mattered to them?  Maybe not as much as you thought!

Why can't we give all of our experiences that same respect?


C: Challenge

Reading a fitness blog post you may be inclined to think that I'm going to start going on about running a race, or lifting heavier weights or getting more reps.  But challenges are all around us.  We can be challenged to meet a new friend, we can be challenged to do something that scares us (like public speaking), we can be challenged to accept that someone with a different viewpoint than us COULD have a valuable perspective.  But so often we DON'T do these things.

Living a life constantly rooted in routine and agendas don't challenge us to be different or grow.  They give us the false impression that we've got it all together, like an ostrich with it's head in the sand.  But if all you ever do is what you are familiar with what will you ever become an expert at?  The things on your to-do list?  I hope you thought it out REALLY well!

Without challenges to face we slowly deteriorate or worse become so ingrained in our daily lives that we never seek anything new, unique or memorable.


On my deathbed I'd like to be able to tell stories, not ramble off statistics.  SO what if I have millions of dollars?  Did it enrich anyone's life?  SO what if I lived to 100?  Were those years really LIVED?  And SO what if I always finished my to-do list?  Was I doing anything that really, truly MATTERED?


If all I can point to at the end of the day is that I accomplished some tasks I have failed my mission in life.


If I can point to moments that will be remembered for a lifetime (or multiple lifetimes) though, well I know I have had an EPIC life!


Go live YOUR EPIC life!


-Coach Joe

Standards are someone ELSE'S definition of YOUR success!

Kind of a crazy thought huh?

But it's true.  It seems that we are our best critics.  And it's almost a universal truth that we grow up being taught that we should analyze and critique our actions against "standards" which are really just the expectations of others.  You see it as early as grade school when you are graded on your knowledge of subjects which eventually becomes a precursor to identifying whether you are "fit" to graduate onto the next grade.

Extrapolate this into your daily life as an adult!  We tell ourselves that we aren't successful until we achieve certain accomplishments or make a certain amount of money or reach a certain social status.  The idea of being worthy of certain things in life seems to always come with a caveat that certain prerequisites or "standards" are met first.

WHY???

Isn't it possible that we all learn, grow and progress at different rates and in different ways depending on our experience and circumstances?  Isn't it possible that your talents may not be realized yet and you don't necessarily control all of the variables to identify your true potential in life?

Of course we don't control everything that happens in our lives.  But there are certain variables that we CAN control.


Did you define what is important to YOU today?

Did you illustrate your OWN vision of success so you know what exactly it is you are going after?

These are YOUR definitions NOT someone else's...so FORGET the standards and definitely FORGET the expectations of others!


There are two ways to look at improving your life:


The first is how we are conditioned as children to look at life:

You identify a weakness that is holding you back and determine that this weakness is the reason you aren't succeeding in life.  You make a plan to improve upon this weakness and it gives you hope that if you can just change who you are that you'll be worthy of the life you want to live.

How has that been working for you?  Do you really want to define your life by how and why you are weak?


OR there's a much healthier way:


Focus instead on who you ARE not who you AREN'T! You can concentrate instead on the talents you possess and the strengths that have come from your experience in life.  Instead of focusing on the standards that other people have established to compare the lives of (frankly, very different) people, make your OWN standards!  What is it that you bring to the table that makes you unique or STRONG?  How can you utilize that strength to build the life that you envision for yourself?

My challenge to YOU is to focus on what you CAN control and where you excel!

It's easy to get caught up in what you think is your lot in life, what you think you need to accomplish by a certain age, by a certain standard that your friends (or frenemies) or your heroes have achieved.

But does it make you any less of a person if you don't do so?

OF COURSE NOT!!!

So GO, surprise yourself.  Work toward what you want every day whether the prize is easily in view or not.  Guess what, you MAY not get to what others define as "SUCCESS".  In fact, your eventual realization of success may be what others SEE as failure.  SO WHAT!  They aren't YOU and you aren't THEM!  We all live our OWN lives!

You may struggle or take longer than you expected but it NEVER makes for a wasted effort, a mistake, a wrong path or an unworthy pursuit to be the best you can be!

Just because you don't live up to someone else's standard NEVER means you are less successful, you are less talented, you are less passionate or you don't care!

You make your own success in life and your definition is your own...so DEFINE it and PURSUE it until you ACHIEVE IT!


Stay fit,
Coach Joe

Why Calorie Restriction Diets Don't Work!!

Hi Motiv8ers,

Coach Ty here again with another very important nutrition post that if you take seriously, will change your life forever.

Topic for today: Why Calorie Restriction Diets Don't Work!

Motiv8ers, I have been in the fitness world for a while now and let me tell you, trying to figure out what diet is best for you is crazy confusing.  You have the low-carb diet, Atkins diet, Ketogenic diet, Whole 30, Weight Watchers, Biggest Loser Challenge, flexible dieting, Paleo diet, Vegan diet, and the list goes on.  If you don't have the time to really study each of these diets, you might feel incredibly frustrated and overwhelmed because you don't know who to believe.

Well, Motiv8 is here to help!  My goal today is to simplify things for you so you can start to take action on improving your health!  Then, in the following weeks, I'll give you the tools needed to help you start making healthy changes to your health.  Let's get you thinking!

Let me start with the most frustrating phrase I hear pretty much every day: "In order to lose weight, I just need to eat less and exercise more."

Here are the list of things that pop in my head when I hear that statement:

• If you eat less, how are you going to have the energy to exercise?
• If you eat less, how are you going to get the nutrients you need to support muscle growth?
• Just eat less? Why aren't you focusing on what you are eating?
• If you eat less and exercise more, how are you going to have the energy for your family and work?
• If you eat less, your body will store more fat because of the lack of calories you are feeding it!

Crew, in reality eating less doesn't make sense!  

Motiv8 recommends focussing on the foods you put in your body.  The goal is to eat more whole foods in a plant-based diet and remove processed foods.

• Focus on getting enough calories from real whole foods like fruits, vegetables, whole grains, starchy vegetables, legumes (like beans), nuts, and grass-fed lean meats.
• When you eat enough you will have the energy to do the work needed to get into great shape and spark muscle growth.
• When eating enough real whole foods, you will probably be surprised by the amount of food you will be eating to hit your calorie needs.  Real whole foods have less calories than processed foods meaning you have to eat a larger amount of food each day to keep your cravings for junk food at bay.
• Once you start eating more and exercising more you will start to see the body fat melt away.  At that point it is important to make sure you don't put the fat back on by eating a lot of processed foods.  You have to keep your new healthy lifestyle going long-term in order to see the benefits.

Crew, the benefits are huge if you follow these simple steps.  Coach Joe's story is the perfect example of this.  All of you know Joe as this crazy fit ultra runner/trainer.  But he wasn't always like this.  He used to have a normal 8 to 5 desk job and exercise was just something he did every once in a while.

Check out his before and after pics and then check out his story!

Before

After

Here is Joe's Story:

"When I started my journey I had a misconception that the way to lose weight was to exercise more while eating less.  So I cut my calories to nearly 1500 per day, well below my requirement then of 2400.  I lost weight at first but soon I hit a plateau at 180 lbs.  Months went by and I was getting stronger but not seeing any weight loss.  No matter what I tried I couldn’t move the needle.  Then, instead of cutting my calories, I focused on the type of foods I was eating.  I removed as much sugar from my diet as possible, replaced processed snacks with fruit and started to eat more fiber while cutting down my intake of meat.  All of a sudden the switch flipped and within a few weeks I could start to see small improvements in my energy level, which lead to improvements in my performance at workouts.  By the end of the summer of 2012 I had resurrected the metabolism I had as a teenager and lost an additional 15 lbs!  It was also the start of my transformation from being just fit to being able to build a body extremely resistant to injuries and sickness, run ultramarathons and become a fitness trainer."

Crew this blog post only scratches the surface on this topic and we hope it has sparked some interest in you.  Over the next few weeks and months we will make sure you have all the tools you need to help you become that Super Human you are looking for and become crazy healthy long-term!

Crew I know you have questions so post below or ask us questions in our Motiv8 SETS!  Keep reading this Blog and I promise you will get the info you need to change your life.

Last thing here is a quick video from NutritionFacts.org about eating more to weigh less!

Crew, Stay EPIC and don't forget to be AWESOME!

We will see you at our Motiv8 SETS!

P.S. Check out more blog posts under the label Nutrition to get more details on what your diet should be looking like!

Coach Ty Out!

Help Others By Including Yourself!

So here it is…

The time of the year when we get "busy"; with school, with work, with family obligations.  This is the time of year we start developing those excuses for why we can't stay on track with our healthy habits.  Usually they start with "I just don't have time".

On one hand I find it honorable that people want to schedule so much of their day with things to do and goals to accomplish.  But at some point we overburden ourselves to the point that what is most important to us becomes a gray area.  Or we just downright remove things that SHOULD be important to us from our priority list.  

It's a recipe for frustration, unhappiness and feeling unfulfilled.  

Maybe you're staying busy?  Maybe you're getting something done?  But is what you are working on really what helps you GROW the most?  Is it even what might help others grow?

Sometimes we can convince ourselves that the conditions just aren't right for us to really pursue what we want in life.  The "busy" excuse is often the condition we focus on and it's usually grounded in wanting to do something for others.  There's a lot of good intent there and that's a righteous feeling to have!

But including yourself in your priorities is often a path to incredible growth and productivity because you feel WHOLE when you do something for yourself!  You feel progress, you feel strength, you feel like you're moving forward rather than putting your own life on the backburner.  It completely transforms your perception of the world around you!  It can also completely change others' perception of what may be possible in their own lives, simply by being an inspiration to those around you!

Run Rabbit Run 100 mile trail race is coming up in a few days.  It's an incredibly long and arduous process to prepare for a race like this and one that meant sacrifices here and there that I truly didn't want to make.

But what I also experienced along the way is it drove people around me to rethink what is possible for THEM!  From acquaintances to neighbors to old friends and new ones alike, I've had innumerable conversations the past few months.  People want to know about nutrition, they want to know how to build the endurance a 100 mile race takes, they want to know how to get back on track to being consistent in their own fitness and health.  

I wouldn't trade these conversations for anything in the world!

  

• Sometimes these conversations are moments that turn people's lives around! 
• Sometimes these conversations are the catalyst for someone to finally make healthy food choices or start a training regimen of their own!  
• Sometimes these conversations are the triggers for someone finally saying enough is enough.  It's time to CHANGE starting TODAY!

So make sure that as we get into these busier months ahead that you leave something on your plate for YOU!  Give yourself time, make one of your passions a high priority and go after a big goal.  And never, ever, ever give up because you never know how your life may impact someone you know!

Reading this blog for the first time? Start your own journey right here!  www.motiv8fitness.net

Stay fit,

Coach Joe

The Skinny On Cleanses!

I was in Juiceland yesterday and once again I noticed they are pushing the "cleanse" as a way to stay healthy and "reset" your body.

But isn't it REALLY resetting anything?  And are you REALLY detoxing your body?

One of the biggest struggles with getting healthy is sometimes just getting started.  So it makes sense that many people would look for shortcuts right from the start to adopt a healthy new lifestyle.  Besides the fact that THERE ARE NO SHORTCUTS, following a pseudo-science based method of “kickstarting” or “resetting” your body is not only dubious in nature but often sets you back instead of springing you forward. 

Enter the “cleanse” or “juice cleanse” in it’s most common form.

Take a look at some of the rationales people create for starting a cleanse and the reality that exists despite all the marketing claims we want to believe are real:

1. Cleanses Will Reset My Body:

Your body doesn’t have a reset button.  In fact your body is one thing only…a survival machine.  It creates patterns of operation and movement to ensure that your Priority 1: Staying Alive continues to happen.  If you starve yourself and drink only lemonade your body adapts by changing your metabolism, your hunger response and your energy level.  Initially you’ll experience a period of shock where you feel terrible followed by an improvement when your body gets used to being starved.  It’s why you feel “detoxed” after a 3-4 days but only after feeling tired and hungry in the first 1-2 days.  This isn’t a “reset”, it’s an adaptation process.

   

2. Cleanses Flush Out Toxins:

What toxins?  Where do toxins exist in the body?  Everywhere!  Not just your stomach!  You actually have specific body parts whose only job is to process toxins.  They are your liver, your kidneys and your colon (when it gets enough fiber).  The liver can detoxify most chemicals we ingest and secretes that waste into your intestines to be released.  The kidneys filter blood (how toxins move in the body) at a rate of 120 quarts a day and converts that waste to urine.  You actually release toxins every time you sit on a toilet.  The ONE thing you could do to ensure that those toxins leave efficiently is getting the proper amount of water and fiber in your diet.  Now there are toxins that can’t be processed by these organs but I can guarantee you no amount of lemon water or fruit juice is going to do any better than something designed specifically for the task.

3. Cleanses make your digestion more efficient:

If you eat less you poop less.  It’s that simple.  Don’t read into it any more. 

4. Cleanses improve my energy level and makes me feel better:

You didn’t eat…then you did.  Of course you feel better!

5. Cleanses reduce inflammation:

Inflammation is a very real thing that can occur with certain types of food, especially if you have a genetic disposition for allergies or sensitivity.  In the case of gluten sensitivity, sometimes people just don’t know until they stumble upon the evidence.  I don’t intend to knock gluten-free diets because for some people it is a very real concern and they work.  DON’T however mistake this type of inflammation with the physical manifestation of starving yourself on a “cleanse”.  You may very well have a flatter stomach because there is no longer food in your digestive tract.  Is it realistic to assume that you’ll still have that flat stomach after you start eating again?  Of course not….nothing “anti-inflammatory” exists from a juice cleanse other than withholding the very thing that caused the inflammation in the first place.

Cleanses in-fact don’t reset anything.  They don’t even provide a benefit other than a momentary reduction in waistline which is actually just an effect of starvation.  It’s simple, if there is nothing in your stomach to digest it takes up less space.  Here’s a picture of me when I get up in the morning (before I have anything to digest) and later in the day.  Notice how different my stomach looks?  Think about what 3 or 4 days would make it look like!  But are you going to stop eating food forever?  Of course not!

Stick to a natural, whole foods, plant-based diet and you can avoid the yo-yo effect of inflammation and lack of energy that leads people to be tempted by “cleanses” in the first place.  And give biology a little more credit…trust in your liver, kidneys and colon to cleanse your body with just a little help from a proper diet.

Stay Fit,

Joe

Are You in Control of Your Life?

Hi Motiv8ers Coach Ty Here,

Today I have a pretty serious topic for all of you that you might have never seen as a problem.  You might not have ever really thought about it.

Right now, before I go any further, I want you to think about your daily habits and routines. 

Think about what you eat and how you eat it.  Think about how you interact with people.  Think about how you study or what you do when you get home from work.  Think about everything you do on a daily bases.

Now ask yourself did you really decide yourself to do those daily task and routines?

I really asked myself this question two weeks ago when my Mom was driving me to the Capt. Karls Trail night 60k race.  On the drive there she asked me what I had eaten that day to help fuel myself for the run.  I told her some sprouted buckwheat in the morning, 11 bananas for lunch, and then half of a watermelon.  She said "wow I would be sick if I ate all of that."

But then she went to say, " But that still doesn't seem like enough to fuel you for this long 37 mile run."

So I asked her, "what would you eat for a run like this." She said, "well I don't know." So then I asked, "well what foods give you the most energy?" She said, "I have no idea."  "Then what foods, when you eat them, make you feel the best?" I asked.  She stated, "Ty I don't know."

I finished this topic with, "Mom you have been living with your body for a long time you should know what foods make you feel great and what foods make you feel terrible."

This conversion got me thinking. 

Does anyone really pay attention to why they do the things they do!

Or, are they just following what their friends are doing, or what society is telling them to do, or what social media and the news said was a good diet, or just following in the foot steps of their family!

How much of what you do each day did you actually study? did you actually do research on to help you decide that that was the best action to do to help you get to where you want to go? Did you make a goal and decide yourself that these are the actions you need to take in order to achieve that goal?

Motiv8ers to understand this a little better watch this video from Bob Proctor!  He explains how your environment plays such a huge role in causing you to become who you become!

Crew if you didn't watch the video please do!

Motiv8ers there is a reason why we made the month of August Habit Month! 

Its because your daily habits and routines help make you become the person you want to become.  And, if your daily habits and routines are not supporting the person you want to become then you really need to re-evaluate why you are doing them.

So I have a challenge for all of you.  Today and tomorrow I want you to be mindful of everything you do!  Really ask yourself why you are doing the things you are doing in the moment.  Is this action helping me get closer to the person I want to be or is it hurting me? Take note of everything that is hurting you and through our habit challenge this month start finding healthier actions to replace those negative actions!  To find the tools in order to help you make those changes check out the blog posts below.

Motiv8ers take action on this blog.  It is a serious topic that you might not have ever thought was a problem.

Crew remember the Motiv8 Coaches and I are here to help so if you have questions don't hesitate to reach out to your Coach.  It is time to make all of you even more awesome!  =)

Stay EPIC and Don't Forget to Be AWESOME!

Coach Ty Out!

How To "Be More Positive"

Have you ever heard someone tell you to "just be more positive"?

How did it make you feel?  Like pushing them off a 50 story building right?

Here's the missing link of that supposed advice that those well meaning people never tell you.  It's not about just "being more positive" but rather fostering an environment that recognizes negativity but does not give it power.  This is not an easy thing to do and you HAVE to continually work at it.

Sorry, as with most things in life, what is worth doing isn't easy and change is usually required.


It turns out that everyone has bad days and sometimes we just find ourselves in bad moods and have ZERO explanation why.  For some people, like myself, with Depression this can happen without an obvious cause, without warning and/or without an end in sight which is frustrating and scary at times.  It may not be as often but it happens to people without Depression too.


***Rather than trying to CONTROL your mood or feelings, it is much healthier to accept them and learn how to move forward.***


There are things we can do to PREVENT our thinking from manufacturing our emotions.

Emotions are basically stories that we attach to feelings.  They may be true or they may be completely in our head.  More often than not, emotions are what create the bad moods we experience and much of the pain/hurt/misunderstanding that festers long after the actual damage was done.


So how can we restructure our thinking to foster an environment of positivity, productivity and collaboration rather than negativity, blame finding and division?


Try these:

1. Assume the best of people rather than the worst of people.

Believe it or not what most people want in life is to be at peace and as Peter Gibbons famously said, "...my only real motivation is not to be hassled...".  It's true!  In general people have good intentions attached to the things they do.  A misstep in judgement, poor choice of words or even just having not considered the perspective of others can make their actions SEEM malevolent.  Most of the time, right or wrong, people are so absent and focused on their own personal reality that they have no idea how their actions affect others.  Give people the benefit of the doubt to know that their actions are not intended to do anything "to you".

2. Focus on abundance rather than lack.

How many times have you caught yourself thinking that you NEED to gain something, learn something or achieve something in order to feel successful or happy?  Focusing on what you don't have puts your mindset in a constant state of lack.  You lack X,Y or Z and that's the reason why you can't have whatever it is you seek.  Instead try focusing on what you are good at, what you do have and what you have achieved to keep your thinking in a place of abundance.  I once worked for a company that put this into their business practice during the interview, hiring and promotion practices and they topped the Inc 500 list for growth and success.  That's proof of concept right there!

3. Unplug from mass media.

We often don't realize the role the media plays in shaping our perceptions of the world.  Creating my OWN view of the world is something I've personally been working on by largely limiting my exposure to television, political discourse and social media.  Who wants to be a talking head?  Most people are completely blind to the fact that media is purpose-built to do one thing, obtain ratings and sell ads.  The go-to strategy for this is covering negative, controversial subject matter that gets people to argue and illustrating unrealistic expectations of what life "should" look like. This creates a revolving cycle of constant lack, attempts to buy happiness thru our consumer culture and then comparing yourself again to the idea of "the good life" usually again thru media.  Think about the media coverage you see of politics with personal attacks constantly lobbied at one another.  How about the fear mongering that our world is in a constant state of conflict when this is actually one of the most peaceful times in history?  You can even look at popular television shows and see constant messages of relationship woes, office politics, violence and ridicule for people who may not fit a cultural "normal".  How about the complete lack of realism?  How does someone in NYC have a 2000 square foot apartment, a brand new car and a killer wardrobe with a regular job?  Look at how we consume media and think about how that exposure affects your interactions with others and your own feelings of self worth.

4. Open your perspective by outwardly seeking opinions contrary to your own.

This one is SO hard to do but if done with an open mind can completely change your entire worldview and how you see others' actions.  One example is glaring in how intolerant we have become of political beliefs, going so far as to call someone an idiot for having a certain position on an issue.  Our country was not built by this behavior of violently rejecting the opinion of others.  It was founded on collaboration of ideas with an effort to build up our success and not tear down our spirits.  But we find the opposite, even in our every day lives, with social media posts carefully crafted to make others jealous, brag about ourselves, lob personal attacks or arguments at each other and showcase our latest personal possessions rather than to include others, support them and share ideas for bettering each other.  We don't ask anymore without expecting a specific reply.  We don't share anymore without wanting outright approval and "likes" for what we do.  We don't accept people for having a difference of opinion.  It's scary.  We are all guilty.  We can all be right or wrong at any given time.

5. Participate in interactions with others that are judicious and limit those that are abusive.

If every interaction you have with someone is making you feel like you are a bad person, make constant mistakes or like you just can't succeed then it is time to re-evaluate whether those interactions are beneficial to have at all.  A puppy learns quickly to avoid another dog if their requests for interaction are constantly met with snarls, barks, growls and snaps.  Give yourself enough respect to know that granting forgiveness for others' behavior does not have to mean accepting hurt in doing so.  Redirect your effort to interactions that promote productivity and growth instead.


Give these tips a try and I promise you will start feeling a difference in your thinking.  One that, when given the right amount of effort, will transform the emotions you allow yourself to develop.  You just may find yourself in a good mood more than a bad mood and that's where we experience the joy, success and memories that we want in our lives for years to come.